#DatingQuestion: When is the right time to tell someone you like them?
Last Update : December 11, 2018 by Zoe
Is there such a thing as a right time?
When should you say to someone that you like them?
When is it ok to speak about feeling and can it destroy a friendship?
In today’s Dating question I will be talking about my thoughts on “the right moment” to talk about your feelings.
If you have feelings for someone but you don’t know if by confessing it you could destroy the dynamic between the two of us, you’re in the right place!
We’ve all been there at some point!
How to tell someone that you like them
To confess or not to confess a crush
Telling someone you like them is never an easy task. That’s for sure!
The thing is that sometimes unless you do something to push your relationship forward, the relationship might get stuck.
That’s why I always recommend to tell someone you like them, it is always (almost always) worth the risk!
A very good friend of mine used to say:
You already have the “No”, so you really don’t have anything to loose!
That’s exactly the attitude I encourage you to have!
Nowadays, the flirting happens on the phone and through messages. Although it can be a great advantage for shy people, the thing is that sometimes it is pretty hard to really gauge the tone of a message.
That’s exactly when misunderstandings happen…
It is very important to be as clear as you can when you want someone to know that you like them.
So here are some tips on how to tell someone you like them:
- Start flirting and preparing the territory with flirty messages, so when you eventually tell him/her about your feelings it doesn’t come as a shock
- Make sure you don’t speak about your attraction to other people in front of the person you like: some people tend to think that the old tactic of making slightly jealous someone works, but if you are expecting an adult reaction from your crush, then act like an adult yourself!
- Make sure you’re face to face with your crush when you will tell her/him about your feelings: choose somewhere that’s intimate but where your crush can feel comfortable.
- Be as honest and clear about your feelings as you can
- Be also honest about your expectations: would you ideally want to start a relationship?
- Explain that for you it is important to be honest about your feelings, but that you don’t want to put any pressure at all.
When is the right moment to talk about feelings?
Well, is there really a right and a wrong moment?
A wrong moment would be when it’s either too soon or too late.
Let me explain:
By soon I mean when it is just the beginning of your relationship (whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship). Although some people are more receptive to feelings than others (so they can fall in love almost at first sight) it is important not to rush. The sooner someone starts to talk about feeling, the less authentic it can seem.
That’s why even if you feel a powerful love towards your crush from day 1, my advice is to wait a little bit until you start to talk about feelings.
How much, you might wonder?
It really depends on how often you see each other. The more you see each other the sooner it’ll be ok to talk about feelings.
Let’s imagine you guys are meeting with each other every single day for a whole month: in that case, it’d be perfectly acceptable to start talking about feelings after a month.
If you only see each other once a week, I would probably wait at least 2 or 3 months before talking about feelings.
As a rule, the best moment to talk about feelings is when you reach a great situation in which you see each other very often. The more you see each other, the easier it becomes to nurture feelings, hence to talk about feelings.
I also mentioned earlier that I wouldn’t advise talking about feelings “when it’s too late”.
When can it be too late?
It can be too late if the other person has already made a life-changing decision in their life and your honesty could actually be seen as a selfish act.
An example of this could be when your crush has decided to accept a job in another country, or when your crush has started to seriously date someone else…
That’s why my friend, if you don’t want to talk “too late”, make sure you talk about your feelings as soon as you can!
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