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#DatingQuestion: When does a relationship become exclusive?

Last Update : July 11, 2019 by Zoe

A very common dating question when two people start seeing each other: How many dates should you have before starting a relationship?

When you start seeing somebody on a recurrent basis, it is completely normal to have lots of questions. One of the most common ones is: how long does it take to get to know someone?

And most importantly, do you really have to know each other before becoming exclusive?

I’m Zoe and I’ll be giving you my honest dating advice when it comes to becoming exclusive in a relationship

Is there a set amount of dates before becoming exclusive?

At what point does dating become a relationship? what are the signs he/she wants to date exclusively?

There are so many questions and it is so hard to just give a single answer. The truth is that every single couple is a different case.

However, as I am here trying to help you with your dating journey, I’ll try to draw some general rules that I think could apply to anybody.

Let’s start by the beginning: what does it really mean to be exclusive?

To be exclusive means that you’re exclusively dating one person and that you have both agreed to have a monogamous relationship based on trust.

Now, I have to say that although the term “becoming exclusive” seems to have become really popular, there are lots of different ways to be in a relationship that doesn’t necessarily involve exclusivity.

That’s why I would recommend you to talk with your partner about your expectations in a relationship before assuming that the next big step is to become exclusive.

The thing is that noways, singles tend to say that they’re becoming exclusive as an equivalent of being in a serious relationship.

So, let’s ask the initial question differently: is there a set amount of dates before becoming serious?

The answer is: not really.

Although as I mentioned when talking about when to tell someone you have feelings for them, the more often you meet with a partner, the quicker and easier your relationship will become serious.

Becoming exclusive = being in a serious relationship

My opinion is that we should really stop using the term “exclusive”, as it involves a certain ownership, and there shouldn’t be any ownership in a relationship or in love.

Instead, I propose using the term “serious relationship”.

In that sense, it becomes much easier to talk to your partner about your wishes of having a serious relationship instead of becoming exclusive, don’t you think?

Because the reality is that if you say. “I’d like for us to be exclusive” the reality is that he/she could think:

  1. That you’re seeing other people and you hadn’t mentioned it before
  2. That you’re implying that he/she is seeing other people and that you’re not trusting your partner.

So really, the best thing to do is to talk about your feelings followed by your wish of turning your relationship into a serious and meaningful one.




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