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From single to couple

Last Update : May 10, 2018

Finding a girlfriend does not mean that you have to retire! Maintaining the passion and excitement of the relationship over time requires effort, compromises and involvement each and every day. For some people this approach is very natural and requires little effort. However, other single people are afraid of married life and losing their independence. Depending on the type of relationship (serious, committed or casual), the different types of efforts that are needed to meet the challenges will be different. The birth of a relationship, including an intimate relationship, raises a lot of questions. Our advice for singles topic addresses issues of the relationship between two people. Are you dealing with serious questions, tensions or frustrations with married life after a period of celibacy?

Accept your partner’s faults

Married life is not similar to a long and quiet river. Being a couple means sharing your life with another person, despite your similarities, the other person has their own character with their qualities and defects. As the famous proverb states: to be well in couple we must learn to love the imperfections of the other person (or at least to accept them).

Your partner is neither a toy nor an accessory that you can manipulate at will to satisfy all your desires, no: they are a human being with feelings, expectations, whims and so on. So it is important to find a balance between what you are ready to agree to build your relationship on and what you do not agree on, and find a common agreement without causing the other person to become frustrated. It is not simple.

The unspoken couple struggle

In the first place, men and women do not necessarily all have the same qualities of communication and yet each must learn to talk to the other about their doubts and desires in order to advance as a couple. Sharing your feelings openly and honestly with your partner may not always be as easy as it seems. Pride, fear of losing or injuring the other person, remorse, frustration and anger all emotions that drive the couple and they can also gnaw at them if they are unable to talk to each other about these feelings.

Single people are not accustomed to having to compromise, which is why this exercise requires even more effort from them. Moreover, apart from what happens directly between the couple, other elements can disrupt the relationship: the entourage!

Managing your partner’s entourage

The group surrounding the couple is obviously larger than it was before because it also includes the friends of your new partner, that is to say, his friends, his family, his ex, etc. All these people are indeed likely to try to out give their opinions on your relationship, which can create unnecessary tension in your marriage. Some ground rules need to be set so that your friends are able to keep their distance when needed and do not interfere too much. Before, you used to share everything with your friends, now you have to establish a little privacy.

Doubts, fears, jealousy even if your friends are the most comfortable shoulder on which to cry, remember that even someone who is very close to you may not be able to tell that something is wrong between the two of you. In general, girls tend to talk about their feelings a lot, but not necessarily to the right people, while the guys do not speak at all: it’s a caricature but unfortunately it is true enough to stop many romances that needed only a little communication and privacy to avoid fracturing.

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