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How to avoid sabotaging your own relationship?

Last Update : April 13, 2017

Love is a journey of self-discovery where, at the same time, you have to get to know all about your partner.

There are many external factors that can make your dating, and romantic life to fail. However, finding the right partner, and making your relationship to work is in your own hands.

In spite, the traditional conception that you are hit by love when less expected, and it is fate who pulls the string, nowadays many singles unconsciously use excuses in order to avoid getting their emotions flow, and thus restricting themselves to engage in a long-term relationship.

Are you emotionally sabotaging your romantic relationships? Dr. Lisa Firestone, the director of Research, and Education at The Glendon Association, and expert in couples, and relationships, has analyzed what makes people afraid of love.

Afraid of showing your emotions to your loved one

Being in a serious relationship requires not only getting intimate, and sharing some interests with your partner, but it also consists of showing, and sharing your emotions with him/her, and this is something not everyone is ready.

By doing so you are taking out the shield, and putting yourself in a position of vulnerability. Many singles looking for their significant other as well as some people who already are in a relationship often avoid getting emotional by using that excuse of not wanting their feelings getting hurt.

Nonetheless, as Dr. Firestone suggests, what they are doing when trying to avoid pain, is to pushing their partners -or potential ones- away.

Creating a fantasy bond to avoid being hurt by your partner

Similarly, many of those love sufferers, tend to build like fantasy bonds where they completely see their romantic life in an idealistic way, restricting in that way their real feelings as well as their partner’s, and end up generating some distance with their loved ones.

The dating expert suggests that this is something to do with the person’s early experiences, some even could come from unsolved childhood issues.

The best solutions to prevent sabotaging your own relationships

If you are, for whatever reason, avoiding sharing your emotions with your man/woman, and sabotaging in such way your relationship or your dating life in case you are single, the best you can do solve it is to try to get in control of your emotions, and start communicating with your partner/date about how you feel about your relationship.

By finding out which are your desires, and fears, and sharing them with your partner, you will be able to get easily involved, and get ready to sustain an intimate, romantic, and long-lasting relationship.